The Heart of a Wolf
by RussettCullen
Summary: Jacob's heart feels weak with every thought of Bella left in his head. Everyone tells him time will heal his heart and things will get better when Bella gets off his mind, but she just keeps reappearing in his mind. He conflicts with his heart and mind with the help of his friends and family, and maybe he might just find the one to make him move on from Bella.


Chapter 1: Waves and Thoughts

The cool breeze brushed across my face, cooling down my flaming skin. Being a wolf gave you the skin temperature, but it wasn't like you took any notice to the skin temperature. My feet were bare, the sand fitted to my feet like water in a glass. The waves hit the shore like a friend slapping your arm playfully. I breathed in a huge breath of salty sea air. Only sounds of the waves crashing against the shore, the slight breeze, my breathing, along with my heart beats were the only sounds around me.

I glanced around the beach, seeing no one else around me. It was usually quiet in the morning on a Saturday as everyone was still sleeping. I was glad to be alone as a lot was on my mind. I slid down to sit on the sand, wrapping my arms securly around my legs. My thoughts were focused on Bella. She was married now to that _leech_ Cullen, _and_ was on a real honeymoon with that _thing_! The thought of that made me livid, my vision grew red around the edges as I shook slightly. I remembered how I felt after Bella told me that she was going to have a real honeyoon.

_'I stormed off into the forest, fuming at what Bella told me. And to anger me even more, Sam said "She isn't our concern anymore." To hell with that, Sam! Everything was red, my hands balled up and shook. Bella maybe wasn't anyone's concern, but she was _mine_! My inner wolf came through, ripping out of me causing me to land on four large paws. My heart was aching and burning, my head filled with thoughts._

Calm down, Jake._ Sam's thoughts filled my mind, his alpha voice ringing with every one of his words. A howl left my mouth, my chest becoming heavy. I loved Bella. I hated that she was going to do this to Charlie...to me. _Jacob!

_I growled lowly at Sam as I started running. All I wanted to do was phase back so I was out of the Alpha's head, away from the authority that would force me down. I couldn't though since I shredded my clothes around the Cullen's house._

Get the hell out of my head!_ I screamed loudly in my head, and through my thoughts I noticed that Sam had flinched. I felt a pinch of authority as it made me notice that something was wrong with me. Sam shouldn't have flinched.'_

All those thoughts caused my head to spin, a groan slipping through my mouth. My heart ached like someone had pierced it with a knife. Maybe it would be better if Bella was a vampire, seeing her all pale and alien-like might help me get over her. I rested my head against my knees, closing my eyes tight as I took in a sharp breath. My body rocked back and forth slightly, feeling dizziness consume my head. I laid down carefully on the sand while keeping my eyes closed.

"Jacob, hey come on, Jake. Wake up, man." Someone was close to me. A deep, kid like voice was calling out to me. I recognized the voice, but at the moment I couldn't put a name on it. My eyes opened slowly, I was still facing the ocean. But now it was dark and angry, the waves more fierce than earlier. My head turned up to look at the sky that was almost cloud covered and it was now night. "Oh gosh, Jacob! I was about to take you to the emergency room!"

"Seth?" My voice cracked once as I turned more to see him. Seth nodded, his face full of worry.

"We've all been wondering where you were! Billy was about to get Sam out here before I volunteered. We both know Sam would've given you a worthless speech about how you shouldn't worry us like that." He helped me sit up. I ran my hand through my cropped hair, feeling the sand stuck to my scalp and hair.

"I'm sorry, I just closed my eyes for a second. Guess I feel asleep." My head turned back to the waves. I hate the fact that I feel asleep, so I decided to kick myself mentaly. I felt a reassuring hand on my shoulder, causing me to look back at Seth. He smiled softly, obviously trying to say it was okay without actually saying the words.

"It's okay, Jacob. I just thought that you were hurt or something. You have to be careful." My chest became heavy as tears formed in my eyes. Seth frowned so he must see the wetness in my eyes. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me to him. "It's okay, no need to cry. We were just worried is all."

"That's not it..." I shook my head in defeat as the tears streamed freely down my face. "It's Bella. I can't believe that she would do this to me! Marrying that _bloodsucker_ and having a _real_ honeymoon!"

My voice was louder than I wanted, in fact I was shouting my thoughts to Seth. The pain became to overwhelming, so much that I started to break down crying. Seth was silent as he let me cry, holding me in arms that were meant to be comforting. Seth was a good kid, especially to the pack. He hated seeing people upset, even if he didn't know them. Sadly kindness can only get you so far. I tried to be kind, and look what happened! I turned into a giant wolf, and got to close to Bella that it pained me!

"I'm gonna head home now." I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand. Seth's arms dropped from around me as he stood up. His smile was there again as he reached out his hand. I took his hand and stood up then started to walk ahead of him as quickly as possible. My voice was weak and shakey, "Night Seth."

"Night Jacob!" Seth called from behind me.

My arms wrapped protectivly around my torso. I tried not to think about Bella. My feet shuffled as I walked, the pebbles on the road being brushed around as my feet kicked them. After a little while, my to small of a house appeared in my vision, the light shone through the windows. I took a long breath in as I reached the front door. Placing my hand on the knob I turned it to open the old door.

The light spilled out of the opening from the door as I stepped in. Voices came from my dads room. My dads voice was full of concern and worry. I heard my name repeated a few times.

"Dad?" I called just loud enough for him to hear me. The voices in the room stopped, the sounds of squeaky wheels and foot steps came closer. My eyes focused on my dads room. Five men one woman stepped out of the room. I knew all of them, Billy, Charlie, Harry, Old Quil, Sam, and Sue. All six of them rushed over to me as quickly as they could.

"Son!" My dad's eyes got all watery as he embraced me. I returned the hug as I lowered down to his level. "I thought something really serious had happened to you! Are you okay? What happened? I woke up this morning and you weren't even here."

"Sorry dad." My voice cracked in guilt. "I went to the beach early this morning, about around seven. I guess I fell asleep while thinking..."

"Thinking about what?" Billy pulled away slightly so he could watch my face. I sighed in defeat. I really hated talking about it, as every time I did it stung my heart. My heart started to pound unevenly. I looked over at Charlie, his eyebrows were raised in question. Everyone was close by to hear my answer. My eyes went back to my dads face.

"Bella..." I felt like a chunk of my heart fell off from it's place, leaving me bleeding. The image in front of me became blurry again as tears formed again.

"What about Bella?" Charlie heard her name just as clearly as about everyone else (well Sam could hear better, but still). Billy wiped the tears from my face. When he was done I looked straight up at Charlie, his face pinched up in what looked like anger and confusion. I didn't know how to respond. Charlie didn't know about vampires or my wolf status.

"Just the fact that she's married and going off to collage soon." I lied smoothly and as quickly as I could without sounding off. His face relaxed some at my reason. I knew Charlie wasn't one to question someones answer if he truly didn't need to know further, but this was about his daughter so things were different. I looked at my dad and pulled a fake smile. "I'm gonna go to bed. Maybe I'll fall back asleep and everything will be better tomorrow. Don't worry about me though, I won't leave or go anywhere tomorrow."

"Okay son, I'll be in in just a minute as I would like to speak to you in private." He smiled at me. I mentally groaned. I really didn't want to talk about it. My lie was obviously seen through by my dad. I don't know if anyone else noticed it, but if anyone did it would be my dad or Sam. I rose to my feet, keeping up my fake smile while I headed back to my small room.

The door closed softly behind me as I flopped down onto my bed. Bella's face appeared in my mind again. All I wanted to do was scream. She was like the rain in this town, she would disappear for a little bit then take over again not to long afterwards. A few minutes passed and I heard the front door close shut, followed by the sound of the lock sealing the door closed for the night. The sounds of my dads chair wheeling towards my door came closer. A soft knock was placed on my door before my dad opened it and peeked his head around the corner. I was laying on my stomach with my head only facing the door.

"Jacob, I know you lied to Charlie. I just have to tell you that it's okay to be sad about something. But son, you just have to move on from Bella." He wheeled himself over and placed his hand on my back.

"It's just...so...so..._hard_!" I pressed my face in the pillow and screamed once. The pillow muffled my scream and for that I was grateful or it could've sent the whole town into panic.

"I know Jacob, but give it some time." He sighed.

"Dad you don't get it." I shook my head.

"Yes I do. Love is a strong emotion. Give it time, and things will heal and you'll find the one you were meant to be with. That even means if you go through break-ups, Jake. Life is hard, no one said it wasn't. I love you son, now get some sleep." He gave me a small hug before leaving my room and shutting my door behind him.

My dad could say he understood, but in truth he didn't. He didn't understand that my heart felt like it was shattering into tiny fragments. My chest swelled up again as I shed quiet sobs. Today was just a start, the rest of the time Bella was gone was going to be pure hell. She would probably be gone a lot longer than just a few weeks. She might turn into a reeking leech, causing me to be in disgust and not wanting to see her face ever again. Maybe that was the closure I needed. Billy was right, in time my heart would heal. My heart would probably take more that just a few days or weeks to heal, it might even take a life time. My heart was strong, so all I could hope for was that things would get better if I let my heart guide me instead of my brain.

**A/N Hope you like this new story! I decided I wanted to do something else besides Silver Linings, Gold Beginnings! I hope to also continue this story as I enjoyed writing the first chapter! Silver Linings, Gold Beginnings will be updated soon! Just a case of writers block on that one! Haha! Thanks for reading! Next chapter shall be posted soon, as in hopefully the next week or two! Thanks again :)**


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